I won't miss you when you're gone.
It was time for you to leave. We didn’t know for how long. 2 months? 6 months? We knew that we would be okay. We knew our love was strong. We had some work to do individually that needed space. So from there we parted.
The time apart started smoothly with a new way for us both to look at our patterns and behaviours together and apart. We welcomed the space and the day to day quietness and reflecting where we would ponder on and unfold our own hidden challenges that we had avoided or had been distracted into thinking didn’t exist.
13 ways to be together, apart.
1. No Imposition
The first thing that became apparent was the way that we felt we had imposed upon each other. What does that mean? Imposition doesn’t have to be obvious, it can be the tiniest little expectations we have or pictures of how each should behave. The roles we play. The rules and the conditioning. How we have been educated to think.
It is the subtle imposing of our ideas of what life should be like and where we both should be at, in this moment in time. With this in mind, we decided to write a list.
Well, the list got very long and detailed and it included many elements of us. With this we decided to create a program for ourselves based on what was true in the relationship and what was not true. Here is the program…
2. Space is not empty.
We have chosen to give each other space. Not physical space, although that has happened, but heavenly space to heal and unwind and discard and surrender. The interesting thing is, the more space you allow for yourself to simply drop deeply into the heart and soul of who you are, the more you allow for someone else. And the more space to allow another, the more grace, the more intimate and connected you feel. Like the night sky above us, space is not empty, space is filled with universal love.
3. Honestly I do.
After space we started with honesty. What is honesty?
Honesty means no holding back. Nothing. Telling it all. Being willing to be completely open and transparent. Telling each other about our sensitivities and vulnerabilities. All of them. We started to unravel layer upon layer of protection that we had both formed over our whole lives.
4. Listen to what is not being said.
We made a promise to each other that each time we spoke we asked each other to listen with our hearts and be willing to let go of being right. Listen with out bodies and to what is not being spoken. This took a little bit of time to master because we all want to be right don’t we? We began to sit back and simply listen without the need to react and sometimes even respond. We slowly started to let go of the need to contribute or fix anything. With the magic of observation, we gave each other permission to really be heard.
5. Willingness is the way.
Saying yes is what we love to do! We have always been willing to deepen, but now it is something more. We have to be willing to let go of our hurts. Many of these hurts have been with us our whole lives and were still locked in the body. We decided to feel them and let them go, one by one. We felt the willingness we had as a team to go deeper and get more intimate. This means being seen in our vulnerability and delicateness and appreciating every aspect of what that felt like. As the weeks rolled on we became stronger and clearer about what we were willing to bring to our relationship and what we were willing to let go of.
6. One plus one.
One day as we sat together on a call, it became evident that we were basing our relationship on being two individuals wanting their needs to be met rather than a team of one working through letting go of our patterns and behaviours together. We had to let go of being right, and wanting something done in our individual ways. It has started to become more about the highest truth, which simply means that there is a sense of what is true and we can all feel it in our bodies. When we are honest we can align to that and that is were the marker is.
7. We can say…
‘In with the highest truth and
out with being individual.
In with maintaining the relationship as a fortress and
out with any tone in the voice or intention that is not loving’.
We are one plus one equals one.
Melt away the comparison and the competitiveness
and all that is left is us.
8. Day to Day
We are building the day to dayness of our relationship to be steady and strong. Honouring our relationship as a living fortress of love. Without perfection, not letting the outside influences and day to day issues get in the way of what our sacred relationship represents.
9. Our Love
Our love is the love of all. A vibration of stillness and joy that is not in what we do but who we are. Our relationship has a love that is so pure and strong it is indestructible. With a deep standard of respect and decency, this love must feel day to day harmony. So harmony is what we are focusing on. Every moment counts.
10. I don’t miss you when you’re gone.
I don’t miss you when you are gone because you are still with me. You wake with me, sleep with me and work with me. You are in my conversations with others in the day and in my loving gaze at the moon at night. You are with me in every movement not because I am lonely without you, but because we work together as a team and this is our commitment to love. We feel energetically connected. We have different lives to live but we are intrinsically connected all of the time. As time and space has gone on, we have never felt disconnected and always felt that we were working as one whole, meaning, what you worked on was for me to know that I was also a part of and vice versa. The more we felt that we were one team, the less we needed to be righteous or controlling. We have no control when we are intrinsically a part of a greater plan.
11. Appreciation is our foundation.
We have both been building on your areas of strength that include being open and absolute and adoring and sensitive. You have a sweetness that is heart melting. My areas have been my strength in being expressive, detached, warm, holding and direct. We have been embracing them all and are learning to let go of the other things that were not us. We have softened and became less protective and more transparent. More understanding of each other and therefore others around us. We are beings in bodies aligning to the same choices and supporting each other to do what we came here to do on planet Earth and shine like the sun.
12. Standards are built.
We have high standards. We are renewing our standards all the time. We are resetting how we deeply care for ourselves, each other and the world. We have had many challenges and there have been unloving choices in the past, however, we have also had such a deep love and commitment to the truth and true relationship. We are committed to celebrating the new milestones and never settling for less.
I love us more than ever, but it’s even more than that. There is a willingness to expand together and also look at our purpose together as a couple here on earth. What is life about if not to awaken and grow and expand?
We have a sacred union that is for all and starts with us.
You have been gone now for a while, physically, but you will return and we will be greater and stronger than ever. Meanwhile we are one plus one and we equal one.
In appreciation for all those around us that love and support us, including Annette Baker and Gabrielle Caplice our heavenly support, super stars.