It is your birthday dear child, but today I birthed you and for me it is a day of consideration and deep reflection. Here is why.
Birthing a child is possibly one of the most amazing and yet physically challenging moments a woman can experience in her life. It is an event that will take her to her limit, asking her to hold steady so that she may bring another person into this world. Her body is moved in a way that feels an enormous amount of physical tension and contractions are a seemingly overwhelming swell of waves that take her to her absolute limit to then pause and in a majestic rhythm, start again and again until the child is born.
Once the child is born, the fun begins. In that moment we understand that we are merely the vessel and that we do not own that magnificent being in that little body. It is however, a long time commitment to feeding, washing, loving, supporting and tending to it's every need.
Motherhood is not all roses. Yes, the love is there and thank God for that, because on so many levels the experiences we have as a parent can seem trying, relentless, tiring and all consuming. As a society we are lead to believe that we should place our own needs aside. Play a role and be a mother before being a woman.The child is the focus we are told. Be selfless. Be a 'good' mother. The child is the life long project we had no idea would roll as it does.
Years pass by. The woman, who is a mother now, guides the child in the best way she knows, tending to it and nurturing it in the exact equal amount of nurture that she has in her own body. This can mean that although we think we are loving and caring, we can be simply an uncared for vessel running on empty trying to care for another vessel.
We can ponder on whether we do nurture and care for ourselves to be the full and nourishing person to then be capable of caring for another? Honestly, most would say not really.
So year after year the child grows up and every birthday the mother has the anniversary of her birthing moment or her 'birth day'. The moment she said yes to being a mother. Yes to supporting another soul to rise and shine in this world. Yes to evolution. But were we ready? Were we truly equip for the job?
We all know how cycles work. Around and around again we get a moment to celebrate and appreciate what is true and heal and clear what is untrue and does not serve us and therefore, the all. This event, the birth day of the child, is a monumental opportunity.
The birth day of our children is a day to reflect, appreciate and often a time to heal.
What were the circumstances the mother was in when she had the child? Why did she have the baby? The intentions? The arrangement? The constellation?
How has the child grown? The issues? Challenges? Life choices and alignment?
How has the day to day relationship unfolded? Love and evolution or hard times and resistance?
There are many reasons why we have such an opportunity on the day of our child’s birth to stop and reflect and heal anything that feels like it is there. Sadness? Exhaustion? Deep appreciation? We can feel raw and fragile, on this day and that’s okay. In fact, it is more than okay. It is a chance to deepen our connection with our own soul and life’s journey.
We can ask ourselves….
How have I as a woman, healed, grown and evolved?
Have I let go of mothering now that the child has grown?
Have I placed conditions on our relationship and therefore been attached rather than simply connected?
Have I been needy and imposing as a parent?
Have I been jealous and in comparison?
Have I truly loved myself and therefore reflected that love to you?
Have I lived my own life and not through my child?
These are beautiful questions we can reflect on, on the day of the birth of our child every year. We can also appreciate and deeply confirm the joy and delight of having known each other and watched each other grow.
So on your birthday beautiful dear soul always understand that, It is my birth day too.